Big cities are bonafide sanctuaries

So having returned from my beloved Milwaukee to the quaint and quiet Ripon, I've found that despite the charm of a small town, even one so stereotypically pleasant as this, small-towns simply can't live up to the big city. Having experienced both... Hooray for credibility! And let me be clear, when I say "city," it doesn't just mean places with professional sports teams. I'm talking mid-size places too like Appleton or Madison.

Anyway, I actually made that realization about three years ago. Now I simply get reminded of it a few times a year. 

The truth is that Ripon is about as cliche as small towns can get. The historic downtown with family businesses and tons of Christmas decorations is pretty much something right out of a primetime television drama. As far as small towns go, I think Ripon is wonderful and have no specific grudge against it. But, there's simply no way that its elegance can make up for its lackings.

Ever been hungry at midnight? Of course. It's a good thing that in Ripon, there's a lot of cuisine available to us at such an hour! Oh. Wait. Now you see, Kwik Trip is cool and all that, but let's be real here, throw a Wendy's in town or have the KFC/Taco Bell actually live up to Taco Bell's whole "Fourth Meal" campaign, and no one would visit that little gas station. Save for the people who need gas I guess. They still might.

Milwaukee? Oh, lordy how I love me some options. I don't know, should I go up to Wendy's with just a few bucks and enjoy myself some spicy chicken nuggets and a chocolate frosty? Or should I scrounge through my couch cushions and get some taco bell? But no, the real treat here is Jimmy John's. FREAKY FAST DELIVERY! Yep, just got money in my pocket for that little slogan-placement. Sweet, now I can save that money for when I have the late-night munchies... If only I had a place to spend it. Bottom line? Small towns need a Jimmy John's before they even have a chance of being preferable to urban life.

I began with food because that's kind of where I begin a lot of my thought-processes, but of course, dietary variation is far from the only reason that Milwaukee and its kin trump Ripon and its siblings.

Have you ever noticed that a ton of horror movies take place in small towns or rural areas? "Texas Chainsaw Massacre"? Probably would have been easier to get help in a city. "House of Wax"? Definitely couldn't have happened in an urban area. I feel much safer with nearby neighbors than with cornfields or small forests between me and the nearest house. But hey... If having your face cut off, getting coated alive in boiling hot wax, or being hung on a meathook is your thing... All the more power to you.

Perhaps the most real reason that the big city is simply a better place than small towns: Diversity. Cities offer opportunities to be genuinely informed in regard to stereotypes and generalizations. Milwaukee isn't even that great of an example in this case compared to say Los Angeles or New York, but it's still infinitely more of a melting pot than towns like Ripon. Not that it's a character flaw or anything to live in a homogenous town, but I have witness to it leading to some fairly awkward situations and first impressions.

I have some friends who are terrified of the mere term "Inner City." Give me a break. They've never been to the inner city, all they're basing their fear off of is what they see on T.V. Likewise, people tend to think of the bus as a cursed and dangerous place. And yet, I bet far fewer people die on buses than in automobiles. Buses are wonderful things that are environmentally friendly, and also serve to discourage drunk driving. Some cities still have trains too. When I was in Chicago over the Summer I took the El and it was just the coolest thing. Yeah. Viva la Public Transportation! Stop turning down money to prove a point, Scott Walker. Whoaaaa gettin' political there. My bad.

Small towns have their charm and grace that can be good for lunch at a nice diner or a walk down some storybook "Main Street," but if you had to pick one? Sorry, that's not even a debate. Big cities just offer more and at little expense. Food and lack of leather-faced killers of course, but most importantly diversity, tolerance, and understanding. You'll see things in the big city that you can't in a small town. Don't make yourself blind.