Ripon College Days

Can you lie and still be ethical?

Short answer and long answer....yes. Ethical absolutes are like grammar rules--it doesn't matter if you know where to put the comma if you can't write a sentence to save your life. Good writers sometimes miss a comma; good people sometimes tell lies. When you use the rules as an excuse to take the easy way out--like fixing a spelling mistake rather than the argument, or telling your girlfriend that those pants do make her fat--just being honest, honey--you compromise the POINT of ethics for the rules.

Classic example of ethical lying: Immanual Kant believed in moral absolutes. If Nazi storm troopers came to the door and asked point-blank if the family was hiding Jews, he believed it was their ethical duty to turn the Jews over to the enemy--the family couldn't be blamed for the Jews' death simply for telling the truth. Most people aren't satisfied with that answer. There are morals, and then there are higher morals. Dietrich Bonhoeffer, a pastor involved in a plot to assassinate Hitler during WWII, believed that the most moral thing a person could do would be to take on the guilt of sin to save another's life. Does that extend as far as murder? Does that always justify lying? Making up heroic stories about saving the Jews in Nazi Germany is easy--we're so far removed from the experience that it's easy to assume we'd stand up for innocent life. What if the person isn't innocent? If someone pounds on your door and asks for sanctuary, and minutes later someone with a gun comes looking for them? What do you do? What if they've killed someone? What if they kill someone else because you let them escape? At what point are you to blame for the actions of other people, and where does your lying fit in? The simple solution: Always pretend you're not home. We do it to avoid Jehovah's Witnesses and school fundraisers--just pretend the escaped killer is selling something and it'll be easier not to answer the door.

Honestly, though, can you really close the door on ethical dilemmas? At what point do you decide to shut someone out to protect your family? At what point do you risk your own life for a stranger? And how relevant is this, really? What about the basic, everyday lies that bother our conscience? Do you have to report everything to the IRS? Can you turn a paper in late under your prof's door if you know she won't be there to notice? (It's four o'clock somewhere, right?) Does your boyfriend have to know exactly how much you drank on girls' night out? Really, what's the motivation for lying in each situation? If you're just doing it to escape actual blame or criticism, you should probably just fess up and take the hit. You know what you earned this year--if you remember it, report it. Get the paper in on time, and if you can't, attach a note letting the prof know when you turned it in. Some are more lenient than others, and you might get honesty-points, if not necessarily an A. As for your boyfriend--well, just make sure there are no pictures, and just tell him you weren't the one driving.

There are times, of course, when lying to spare someone pain is worth the toll on your own conscience. When you know someone just needs encouragement rather than constructive criticism, it's all right to spare their ego with a dash of insincerity rather than kicking them while they're down. For a girl who almost passes out during an FYS presentation: "Sure, you seemed a little nervous, but you held it together really well!" Or the roommate who swears the prof is out to get him: "Yeah, I've heard she's really tough." Eventually you can probably make suggestions on how to make a better public speech, or suggest that maybe the prof wouldn't come down so hard on him if he did more of the reading, or started his paper more than an hour in advance. Let them have their moments to wallow and regroup, and be honest when they can handle it. Don't be misleading, but make sure you're not unnecessarily wounding someone just to make an honest point.

Yes, there are times when telling the truth is the only way to go, like "Is this your first time?" or "Have you been tested?" Then there are grey areas that require more careful consideration: "Am I really the best you've ever had?" or "Do you like my parents?" Ego-boosts! Be as honest as you can without being evil, and make sure to have an escape route planned, or a distraction in sight. ("Your mom is really---different, but hey, I'm in love with you, right? Oh, look--pie!") The "rules," like the immorality of lying, make ethics much more simple and much less empathic than they should be, and it's your responsiblity to strike a balance, even if your conscience kicks at you. While you might never be asked to hide a fugitive, you will certainly be asked "How does my butt look in these pants?" by at least one female in your life, and you need to be prepared. "You look great, honey--wanna go get ice cream?"

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